the process of becoming

Time and time again, we have to begin. We have to go within and pick apart layers of us that no longer serve us. Past versions of ourselves that can no longer move on with us—and so with each experience, we strip ourselves and begin again. We must dissolve and flow, let the river of life take us home. What does the end of the tunnel look like for you? That’s the beauty of it; you are not supposed to know. While you move through it, let the sun kiss you, remind you that you are alive, that you are here now. What a privilege it is to feel, to know, to hope, to ache, to be. It is all past that tunnel, that one decision that lets you know that the long, dark winter was worth it. Sit, relax, and enjoy the breeze that kisses your cheek gently and lets you know that spring is nearby… that the flowers will blossom after a long winter of coldness and despair. That stripping yourself one realization at a time was worthwhile. Ripping apart a mental cage, the sorrow that you can’t describe—it is all there to teach you something and that even then, there is always a sign of light in the darkest hours of the night letting you know that the morning will arrive. That by ripping out the layers, the experience of each one can change us and renew us; that it is important for the layers to be pushed back and exposed; it is in that process that we start to become. We need to feel as  it is a clear message that we are alive, that the blood that runs through us is not cold. How can one deal with the enormous waves of emotion that come and go? Each wave is filled with a story, a beginning and an end. The lessons that more often than not are masked by the cries for help, the moment that sets you back but in the end reminds you that it is worth trying. How can one make it through the great wall in front of them when it feels like it is the end? It is concrete, hard to filter through. You feel, you rage, you cry, you laugh, you hit the bricks until your knuckles bleed—you allow it to crack you open. This shows that you have tried, that the debris left over is the result of your resilience. When you allow yourself to feel and disintegrate with the concrete wall, that’s when you can see the beam of light shining through. The hard concrete somehow crumbles, letting you know that peace arrives, that nothing lasts forever, and that even when you don’t see it, even when you don’t feel it, the darkness does not last forever, or maybe it will, but that is for you to decide. The mental battles will disintegrate one acceptance at a time. Letting go of the pressure and letting things bloom like a sunny, warm afternoon in May will allow you to move forward. Stop and smell the roses, as it is no easy task to become and bloom. Allow the many seasons to teach you patience, teach you resilience and teach you the reward of feeling. Let the door open and let the floods of emotion embrace you, as it will help you let go of the parts of you that have run its course. In doing this, it will remind you that as the night changes and the day begins, so can you. The only way to transform is by having the courage to stand each day and face the darkest parts of you, because as it turns out, the big monster in the room is the person that stares back at you in the mirror. We try to cling to certain outcomes instead of letting things be, and when we do that, we are robbing ourselves of something different. Face it and move. We are turning our heads away before the sun sets. We miss the opportunity of something beautiful, of a different story, just because we want to hold on to what’s familiar. It is in the art of letting go that we can fully experience something different. You want passion, success, but you are scared of feeling and doing. You are scared of being brave, of breaking open. The funny thing is that life finds a way of breaking you open no matter what. The question is; will you let it happen or fight the waves of change? Life is a never-ending beginning; you have the choice to change who you are at any moment in your life. You are deserving of new beginnings, of changing your environment, your thinking, and feeling deeper. This is your life; please live it. Each experience is enough evidence that you are worthy of trying.